For me, this move is unlike any other, for I have been here in New Mexico the longest of any of my stays. 23 years. My roots run deep which is why, even though I am very excited to return home to Molokai, I also grieve leaving so much behind. It's a transition that I must go through-there is no avoiding it. As a result, I find myself having an even sharper presence of being in the moment. There are so many places I've looked at, soaking it all in, realizing that this is probably the last time I'll be in that setting (odds are). It takes my breath away, gives me a clarity that I don't usually have, paired with a wave of emotions. So many friends, so many faces. Some, I know I'll see again when they come out my way. Others, I might see when I come back this way for a visit (I think-although I've never returned to the homes I've had in California once I left). But, so many, I know I won't ever see again and that breaks my heart. That part is hard.
This image is from the group exercise room in the gym that I've been going to for 14 years or so-Defined Fitness. I kept thinking I'd exercise on my own and then I finally realized that I don't seem to commit to that but can commit to going to a group exercise class (as most of them have some element of dance to it). No matter what class I'm in-whether it's yoga, salsa aerobics, zumba, or body combat, you'll find me on the far right corner at the front of the room. Like a fixture. In fact, my comrades in my yoga class jokingly wondered if they should auction off my spot after I leave. I think the gym should engrave my name on the floor boards in 'my spot'!
So, this is it. I can't believe that I'm actually leaving New Mexico, but I am. I can't believe I'm going home to Molokai-it still seems like a dream.
I found that saying 'good-bye' just doesn't feel right. Saying, 'I'll see you later' felt better and less heart-wrenching. In the Hawaiian language, saying, 'a hui ho' means, 'until we meet again'. 'A Hui Hou Kākou' means the same, but addressed to a group. Aloha Oe, of course, means, farewell.
Aloha Oe-A Hui Hou Kākou, New Mexico. It's been a great ride.
Join us as a group of us (yes-there are many of us!) from around the world post our shadow shots over at Shadow Shot Sunday 2. Entertain your muse and be amused by stopping by to see what others have posted!
5 comments:
Your words are making tears spring to my eyes...
aloha to you- moving can be difficult I know- I have been there!
I feel the heavy sigh in your post. I did not want to leave the beautiful world of Tasmania, a precious island. But when full time jobs are scarce there, moving is not an option, but a necessity.
Had to read to find out it was NOT a bowl of jelly beans. Love the play of light and mood.
Looks very mysterious ;-)
Post a Comment