Monday, October 01, 2012


Today marks 15 years that have gone by since my mother passed. It still seems like yesterday. The wonderful woman who gave birth to me and my siblings, who raised and nurtured us, who became a dear friend to me; that bond is so strong that it reaches beyond death. The hard part is that I am still in a physical state and she is not. The coming to terms with that 'discrepancy' is my journey. And, so it is for each of my brothers and sisters. I know my two brothers on Oahu (Robert and Tim) will spend time with her today at Punchbowl Cemetery. And they will bring her fresh flowers. I used to cut fresh flowers from our yard and put them in vases throughout the house for my mom.

As for me, I have had to find my own way of doing something out of my daily routine to acknowledge her death. I used to go down to the Rio Grande river and cast a dozen or so roses in to the river and watch them float downstream. Over time, that got to be too public for me, so now I've embraced putting up an 'altar' a la Dia de los Muertos style and I must say, that I like that. There's no room to put all of those I've lost, so it is reserved for my grandmother, my mother, Mark's parents and Delma. But, those that are not there on the altar, I acknowledge in my heart throughout the month-this altar stays up until All Soul's Day.

 Roses for Mom

Mom (photo taken Oct., 1996-one year before she died)

I love you, Mom and will always miss you-
my mother, my friend, my kindred spirit.


rebecca said...

dear paula,
this is so lovely, seeing your mother, hearing your love and care for her. it stirred up all the loving memories you shared last year in october when we shared The Art of Remembering.
today is the first day of october. i woke up thinking i would post a calavera a day and on sundays share once more the art of remembering at recuerda mi corazon. i hope you will join in once, fas i recall it was comforting or all our hearts.
your mother is beautiful, as are you dear friend.

Sylvia K said...

Dearest Paula, thank you for sharing this with us today! It's been wonderful reading about her, seeing her picture and I can understand your sense of loss! She is still indeed a lovely woman and will always have that special place in your heart.



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