Saturday, October 13, 2012

Prayerfully, Yours: The Art of Remembering, continued...



My cousin, Margie was the first to leave us from our generation in my family. I was living in San Diego and she passed away quite suddenly (of pneumonia) in 1976. I was 22 years old and working full time while going to school full time. Which made it impossible to go home to Molokai for her funeral. A heart wrenching experience to not have that kind of closure-but a few of us (cousins) had already left the state, so I wasn't alone in this. We are never really alone (the journey makes us one). I always feel 'cheated' when I cannot go home for a family member's funeral.The price one pays for living so far from one's home where they grew up.

Margie wasn't even 29 years old when she passed and left behind an infant girl that my Aunt raised. Margie had such a joy for life. She had a gentle manner about her and always a smile. But, Margie was always ill-her immune system was not very good and I never really knew what it was that made her so sickly all of her life. Frail and thin, yet strength in her heart and smile. Being a younger cousin, I got most of her dresses since I was on the small side too. Which, when you are wearing an older cousin's wardrobe, it gives you a unique sense of connection to that person. I can't describe it. One dress in particular was my favorite. It had long sleeves, was a pink and brown floral print (a tiny print), the sleeves had contrasting white cuffs and a small, white Nehru styled collar. Her mother, my aunt, sewed all of her dresses. I loved that dress. It looked good on me and fit me well. And it made me think of my older cousin.

Her daughter grew up to be a lovely young lady-went off to college in California, graduated, got a job, fell in love (not sure about the order here of the job and marriage), and now is in the process of raising two wonderful young boys. If only Margie were here to watch them grow up!

I wish I had a photo of her. But, I am grateful I have the memory of her. Such a sweet, kind, gentle spirit that she was.


Every weekend throughout the month of October, a group of us actively practice the art of remembering by way of a post. Stop by our host's site, Rebecca. An amazing woman with an amazing heart and soul. From her site, you can visit others who have done a post in regards to the art of remembering-you can see how each of us approach the subject. I think you will find it heartwarming and full of positive, loving energy.







12 comments:

Sylvia K said...

Sad but beautiful memories of a loved one who left too soon, Paula. One always has to wonder why that particular person??? But they are indeed lovingly remembered! A lovely post, thanks for sharing!

rebecca said...

your words here are so deeply personal. i am sitting here flooded with the essence of your margie. the dress...the idea of connection made by experiencing your own life in the clothes of another. the stitches of your aunt offering her love to the story.
we are all so firmly stitched together. this is something i am deeply moved by, in telling our personal stories all our hearts are connected so powerfully in our shared humanity.

love you so.

The Summer Kitchen Girls said...

beautiful angelic shadows Paula! Loved your story as well. Made me think of two things I had a second cousin that was in my class who died in 4th grade...first funeral to truly remember! 2. Clothing passed on does really make a strong connection...I had a babysitter that gave me several dresses once that were hers when she was young...everytime I see her or hear about her I ALWAYS remember those dresses and how special I felt when I had them on!!

A Cuban In London said...

What a beautiful post! I especially liked this line:

"I wish I had a photo of her. But, I am grateful I have the memory of her". I feel the same about two relatives I lost within two years of each other, when I was still in uni, in 90s Havana. My auntie, who was like a second mother to me, and my cousin, with whom I was very close. I refused to approach the wooden boxes in which they had been put when they were dead. I wanted to keep them alive in my memory, just like you have brought your cousin back to life with this beautiful post.

Many thanks.

Greetings from London.

Gloria said...

Yes, sad but beautiful. We do always wonder why her/him? We have deep connections in life and the memories that go with it. Thank you for sharing.

Lea said...

Such love in this post, in your memories, in your sharing Margie and this beautiful connection that the two of you shared and how you have watched her daughter grow and have children... you are carrying on the threads of her life, woven into yours...

Maria Ontiveros said...

A beautiful remembrance. I'm glad you have not lost the details of your connection.
Rinda

ArtMuseDog and Carol said...

What a loving remembrance of a beautiful young woman who is special to you ~ sending lots of hugs ~ Carol ~ (A Creative Harbor)

ArtMuseDog and Carol said...

What a loving remembrance of a beautiful young woman who is special to you ~ sending lots of hugs ~ Carol ~ (A Creative Harbor)

gma said...

Lovely remembrance. I feel love in your words.Blessings to you.

Stephanie said...

It so moving to read these very personal, yet universal stories of love and loss and memory.

thank you for sharing this lovely story.

Reader Wil said...

A sad story, which is at the same time a great tribute to your cousin. Thank you for sharing your memories. There are so many friends and relatives passing away and it is always difficult. It is good to remember them and write or talk about their lives.

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